i dunno, initially i tot i was worried for my skills and being too task oriented thus making myself feel flustered. but as i think over, i guess it's rlly the high expectations tt ppl have of us which is suffocating me. looking at the staff nurses in the ward, they're rlly capable and competent but where am i? i culd hardly take care of 1 patient well, managing their basic and nursing care. it is times like these you wonder if you'll be able to function like that in... 1 year's time? why 1 year's time? b'cause the poly students who are passing out are doing very well and are in their yr 3 last sem, which is where i would be in a year's time. gosh.

there's another patient in my ward which makes me very confused. she is also psychologically inducing herself to vomit. and whenever she does that, she looks miserable and would ask ppl to rub her back. she has a history of depression and yeah, we were told not to rub her back for her and just find a excuse to go away when she ask for one. to be fair to the staff, she literally ask EVERYONE to rub her back, female nurse, male nurse, other patient's relatives, etc... yup, but what if she's rlly feeling nausea, like for real? what if one day she's feeling ill but ppl just dismiss her as they think it's psychological? i mean, isnt she the only one who could define her own pain and feelings? but where do you draw the line to deduce tt she's just "imagining things"? maybe i'll know when i do my psychological posting. but in the meantime, this patient got me there. :(

heh, went for the princess and the frog yst:) first row, no surprises. heh. and made a new friend, logan:) pretty interesting

also, met up with sec friends:) so sweet, cheryl drove and brought me to marina barrage for picnic! it was pretty funny as it was so dark we could see what we were eating. but nvtheless, it's the company tt counts:) and they gave me a water bottle! haha. red and white one:) i like. 3rd bottle of the year:) okay, i should find something else to complain abt next yr... maybe a massage chair? okay, kidding. but i would rlly love you if you get it for me friends:) oops. haha. but as usual, in the end, i became the GPS of the car. apparently, they didnt know how to get home! rawr. i should rlly start charging;p, tt way i'll earn alot. my sec friends are cute. they were like "eh carmen, 去学车o勒。。。then 我们就可以在车上睡觉。you drive we 出油钱啦。。。i lend you my car..." i was like... right, are you sure? not a bad deal but crazy lar. and we keep on talking abt super lame jokes and also planned for a christmas meet up. EXCITED:) a blessed evening:)

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