i had a decent dinner with my parents tonight, and talked to my dad. my dad also thinks maybe i have too many things going on in my life recently. haha. suggest i take some responsibilities off and have enough rest. i kept quiet. then he said "你不用把每一天塞满才算有life, 参与很多活动来证证实你的存在." i was pretty shocked, i didnt expect him to say that. cause i didnt think that i took up so many things to prove that i had a life. but somehow, i didnt say anything to defend myself. instead, i took time and digested what he was trying to say. and realization hit me. maybe i was just trying to hard to "experience" things. some friends around me kept saying "arh! we're gonna turn 21 this year. should do something crazy!" or those who turned 21 will say "this is the best time of your life! enjoy man." guess i was too overwhelmed and trying too hard. to rlly try every new thing, to pack everything that i could into my week.

but for now, i think, i rlly need my rest, rlly need my "couch potato" life. haha. you might be amused but now i have to make time and stay up just to watch tv or shows that i missed. for eg, if i miss the 8 o clock show and i know it's gonna be replayed at 12, i would stay up and watch. or i usually watch dramas online in the afternoon/late afternoon but nowadays, i hardly have any time at home. so i would start watching my dramas after i reached home, around 11, 11.30? then by the time i stay up till 1 plus, 2, i would think that i'm rlly stupid. i'm eating into my rest time and i would struggle to wake up the next day:( and be unproductive in the morning. rawr. you might just suggest that i should just stop watching tv, but... i dunno, maybe it's just a habit, a way to de-stress and relax? haha. but when my recreational activities are affecting my rest, it affects my whole life:( haha. dunno how true it is, but at least it's happening to me.

so..... i still dunno what to do... but, you can help me by....

1. chasing me offline after 12

2. dun let me snack

3. remind me that i have to study. haha.

4. stop me from taking up anymore commitments or doing anything crazy again.

ok, i wun promise that i will be able to change immediately... but i will make an effort to! to resume back to my normal life... haha.

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