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Saturday, May 14, 2011
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i'm glad the wedding's over. yes, i'm certainly happy for bing shun but i feel happy too 'cause i played the choir piece for SING. not perfect but the practising part is agonizing. when i'm not working, i'm either planning for taiwan trip or practising piano. in fact, my arms are aching now. i dun really know if i'm aching from the practising or CPR yst.come to think of it, it's the first time i did CPR, and we didnt manage to bring the patient back. :(. 47 years old. too young. too young. reminded me of a story that my mom told me. when she was young, she used to think she's done everything interesting and though living on would be boring. so she went up to my grandpa and said"啊爸，我觉得人不需要活太久，活到差不多40岁就好了。" grandpa looked at her, amused and ask "点解？(why)", "活太久会闷。" I laughed. I asked my mom how old was grandpa then. she said "40 几吧". so i asked what was grandpa's reaction. mom shrugged, and said "grandpa said "you could be right", laughed and messed up my hair." haha, i expected nothing less from grandpa. it takes a great sense of humour for you not to strangle the crazy kid at times. i'm glad grandpa has this great sense of humour and this love for my mom. well, my grandpa passed away when he's 60? that's pretty young for modern medical advancements. he died in his slp, after a hearty meal, peacefully. looking back at his life, it was not a smooth sailing life. he encountered many hurdles, sadness. from how his business failed, how grandma's schizo acted up, how his pancreas failed him (melted, literally), etc. but he was never a sad resentful man. my impression of him was a happy, easy going old man who loved me alot. impressive. though he passed on, but his positive outlook did not. i secretly think that it passed on to my mom. her insanely funny jokes drives you crazy yet reflecting her simple worldview. it's particularly encouraging when you see people who've been through worse and still passionate about life and the things they're doing now. like grandpa and some nurses at work. last wk was horrible, got me dejected, thinking if i was cut out for A&E. some mistakes that i make made me feel that i'm the most stupid student in the world. people's comments didnt help much either. "you mean you're an uni student?" or "year 3 already. how to graduate like that?" or "o, n** student arh? no wonder la". and when i'm not precept-ed properly, left to float, it makes me lost and tired. being sick and working makes me tired. floating makes me feel that i'm not being able to help out much. and to be honest, nm didnt help much either. my senior was telling me abt her plans to leave nursing when she's out for less than a year. but then this wk, i'm re-charge. i thank God for the nurses that He sent to precept me. Lukman was an encouragement. Hariyani made me feel that we're a team. we dun have to drown in the system alone. celine also encouraged me by saying "well, it's okay to make mistakes now. if someone scolds you, dun be discourage. learn it, rmb it hard, and dun give that person the chance to scold you again." God's amazing in the perfect timing. i felt so deluded and disillusioned last wk. i'm glad i moved on, moved out of the gloomy cloud. okay lar, last wk was an eventful wk, wasnt all bad. i survived my nights. ha, and i nearly fainted-->hypoglycemia i guess. felt nausea and everything's blacking out. thankfully i managed to walked to the staff room before i collapsed onto the sofa. blacked out for a while and woke up a while later. but i think i scared huiqing quite abit after telling her. she's been asking me if i'm okay whenever she sees me on shift. haha. guess the eye bags make me look even sicker. 3 more days:) yay:) and thailand, here i come! hee. browsing through facebook makes me think that people are getting better at one liners. there are actually some good ones. heh. |
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